‘It’s Not Your Fault’

Saba Fatima, MD, FAAP

June 5, 2020

Those are the four words this mom wanted to hear from me. In that moment in time, she just wanted the reassurance that she had done nothing wrong.

Since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, we have had a few babies hospitalized in our inpatient unit with a similar presenting complaint of "failure to gain weight.”

Most of the time it’s because an inexperienced first-time mom had been struggling with feeding. In my encounters with them, I have sensed an extremely high stress level and anxiety. Just a simple question — "How are you?" — causes them to burst into tears.

One cannot ignore that this pandemic may have taken a toll on these new moms because of the lack of support and social isolation. In an already challenging time, many of them have not been able to have family around them like they usually would. Because of visitor restrictions, a partner or support person is often not allowed to visit our hospitalized patients.

Without help and someone telling them that everything is OK, they feel immense guilt that they are doing something wrong. Their mental health should be an important conversation during and after this pandemic.

My last few encounters have left me wondering what we can do to help.

Yesterday I found my answer as a mom smiled through her tears during our conversation. It was very simple, really. She just needed to know that she wasn’t alone and it wasn’t her fault.

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*The views expressed in this article are those of the author, and not necessarily those of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

About the Author

Saba Fatima, MD, FAAP

Saba Fatima, MD, FAAP, is a pediatric hospitalist at Wesley Children’s Hospital and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Kansas University School of Medicine-Wichita. She has a passion for children and writing, and hopes for a world where no child has to die because that child couldn’t afford to live.